How do I love thee? Let me count the ways... Can you see the rippling folds of fabric, the elegant martial collar cut, the floor-brushing length, the olive-drab polyester-cotton exterior, the menagerie of stains up the front, the broken buttons, the rainbow-gone-sour lining that stands in defiance to the forces of logic and fashion...You know what? You can get your own trenchcoat.
I think it looks better on a human, in any case.
But I've been thinking, and I've decided the time has come to get a greatcoat.
It was the British science-fiction show Torchwood that first alerted me to the existence of this illustrious garment. Pictured above is the show's star, Captain Jack Harkness: immortal, sharp-shooting, smooth-talking, omnisexual, future-conman turned head of an extra-secret governmental alien-catching organization. Wow! Also, really hot. Did I just say that? Hi mom, hi dad.But more then the aliens or the chiseled abs, it was the coat that caught my attention. A sweeping, elegant, graceful, dynamic, charcoal-blue RAF Greatcoat. As to what this meant, I wasn't sure. Let's see.
The Free Dictionary defined a greatcoat as "n (Clothing & Fashion) a heavy overcoat, now worn esp by men in the armed forces".
The Wikipedia entry extrapolated: Greatcoats were heavy and woolen, designed for protection from cold, sometimes included a water-repellant cape over the back, and were used by different military forces in Europe in the First and Second World Wars. The good Captain Jack's own RAF greatcoat would of course have been used by the British Royal Air Force in WWII.
Greatcoats were mostly used in countries containing or occupying frozen wasteland-type areas, such as Russia, Germany, Switzerland, Sweden, Belgium, and Norway, along with of course Britain, and sometimes Canada and the US.
As I search for information, I realize something strange is happening. The fact that all greatcoats are too warm for any kind of casual use, designed for sub-zero temperatures on all scales, heavy, expensive, and hard to find all don't seem to matter any more. I think I'm in love.
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A given: I must purchase a greatcoat. Which leads me to my next problem. I must find a place to purchase a greatcoat. Craigslist, Ebay, and the local army surplus store were all surprisingly unhelpful. The general internet marketplace was my next step. One store, www.armynavydeals.com, offers no RAF Greatcoats in particular, but does have a fantastic and (comparatively) inexpensive variety of similar period coats. Was my search really at an end? Well, I can't afford any of the listed coats at their prices myself, but Christmas is coming... Now, let's see the choices.
First of all. This Russian greatcoat is drop-dead gorgeous, designed for the siberian wastelands, and costs a king's ransom at $360. When I become rich mining gold in Antarctica, this will be my coat of choice.
The Swiss greatcoat! While not as snazzy as the Russian greatcoat by a long shot, it's about 6 times less expensive. It's plain, but... It is cheap, and, well, a greatcoat...
This is the East German greatcoat. I admit it. I like this one a lot. It looks more trim, martial, and formal then the other possibilities, and the website says it's also lighter.
Lastly, here is the Belgian greatcoat. This one is slightly more expensive then the German coat, though I also like the shape and the buttons...
...along with the back, which I had to include a picture of. None of the other coats were quite this impressive from behind. It's certainly a factor to consider.All of the aforementioned coats, I should restate, are all actual unissued coats from the wars they were designed for. Real history from real military conflict. But right now, there's more important conflict! I need a coat! Which one do you like best? Please tell me, or drop me any other opinions, and I'll keep you updated as my journey for the World's Best Coat continues.
Belgian one is WIN. But could you wear a greatcoat and a chain mail shirt at the same time? Then you'd be impermeable.
ReplyDeleteYou're insane. I think I may have to try this, if only for the purpose of making lesser coats and shirts explode out of sheer wonder and awe.
ReplyDeleteIf something explodes, invite me!
ReplyDeleteI know these coats. I have three and are cool!.
ReplyDeleteCoincidentally, I just ordered the Belgian Greatcoat from (I assume, given the identical options in re the coats available) the same site. I think it was the cut on the back of the coat that sold me. Just too swanky to overlook.
ReplyDeleteI like the swiss one. And wearing a chain mail
ReplyDeletewith it would be awesome
try wearitgreen.co.uk. You might get lucky.
ReplyDeleteI have a Swiss Greatcoat. Be prepared for a heavy, bulky coat that smells when it gets wet, and since it doesn't 'breath' at all, you're going to sweat a lot in it. If you're going to be outdoors for a long time in a cold climate, go for it. If you're using it for purely style, find something made of a lighter fabric.
ReplyDeleteAs something of a great coat collector, the Swedish are my preffered, though if you can get any US Army issue ones from the CBI theater WWII those are also nice.
ReplyDeleteSwiss are nice, but can vary a lot between issues. The later post 1980 issue coats are lighter.